What's Love got To Do with It?

Alright, let’s get real for a second. If you’re reading this, it’s likely that you’re feeling disconnected in your relationship. Maybe you’ve tried counselling, maybe not, but you’ve hit a point where it feels like you’re just stuck. Same arguments. Same emotional walls. It’s exhausting, right?

Let me tell you something. This isn’t about just fixing “communication problems” or figuring out who’s right and who’s wrong. It’s about rebuilding the emotional bond between you and your partner. That’s what makes a 2-day Relationship Intensive so powerful. Instead of the usual fortnightly routine, this deep dive helps you understand and shift the patterns that are driving disconnection. It’s a focused, immersive experience that can get you and your partner back on the same team. 

I’ve been working with couples for years, and here’s why this approach is so different from...

Hello, fellow explorers of the human heart! Let's dive into the deliciously complex world of relationships. Today, we're going to talk about something seemingly trivial yet profoundly telling: how we greet our partners at the end of the day. Trust me, it's a microcosm of your entire relationship—a tiny moment that speaks volumes.

The Hug-o-Meter: Measuring Connection in Seconds

Let's start with the basics. Picture this: you walk through the door after a long day. How does your partner greet you? Is it a warm hug, a quick peck on the cheek, or a distracted "hey" while they stay glued to their screen? These seemingly small interactions are actually a reflection of your emotional connection. A warm embrace can say "You Matter To Me, I'm Here For You, and We're In This Together", while a lukewarm or distracted greeting might say "I don't really care about you".

The Science of the 'Hello': Tiny Moments with Big Impact

Our brains are wired to seek connection and reassurance,...

You may find yourselves at a crossroad in your relationship, and you may be thinking about what went wrong and wondering if it is possible to repair the hurt and disconnect that has accumulated over the years.

Strength of Connection

When it comes to looking at relationships, it can be helpful to consider the strength of your connection.

The strength of your connection can be understood by looking at a few key aspects:

1. The sense that you exist to each other: It is crucial to feel that you matter to one another and that you are present in each other's lives.

2. Being top of mind: A strong connection is one where you feel that you matter to your partner. That they think of you when you're not there and that they consider you and you them. 

3. A knowing that you are there for each other emotionally, physically (and intimately) when you need or when you reach for each other. 

4. Feeling cherished and protected: A healthy relationship involves feeling valued and...

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it's easy to overlook the small yet powerful ways in which we unknowingly reject our partners. These seemingly insignificant actions, if left unaddressed, can gradually erode the foundation of love and connection within our relationships. Learn the subtle but detrimental ways we reject each other daily and the long-term effects they can have on our relationships.

1. Ignoring Emotional Needs: One of the subtle ways we inadvertently reject our partners is by dismissing or invalidating their feelings. When we fail to acknowledge or empathise with their emotions, we send a message that their inner world is insignificant. Over time, this can lead to a sense of isolation, resentment, and emotional distance between partners.

2. Withholding Communication: Silence can be just as damaging as hurtful words. When we avoid open and honest communication, we deny our partners the opportunity to be heard and understood. This withholding of...

Hey there, friend! Do you have a partner who struggles with anxiety? It can be tough to watch someone you love experience feelings of fear and worry, and it's natural to want to help. But sometimes, it's hard to know what to do or say. That's why I'm here to share some tips on how to support your anxious partner. Whether you're new to the relationship or have been together for years, there are things you can do to ease their anxiety and strengthen your bond. So grab a cup of tea, get cozy, and let's dive in!

First of all, it's important to understand that anxiety is a complex and often overwhelming experience. Your partner may feel like they're trapped in a cycle of worry and fear that they can't control. It's not a choice, and it's not something they can simply "snap out of." With that in mind, it's crucial to approach the situation with compassion and patience. Remember that your partner is doing the best they can, and that you're in this together. When you're able to empathise...

You're out on a date with someone you really like, and things seem to be going well. But then, out of nowhere, a thought pops into your head: 'What if they don't like me as much as I like them? What if they're just pretending to be interested?' Suddenly, you're consumed by a wave of anxiety and self-doubt, and you can't enjoy the rest of your evening. Sound familiar? If so, you may be struggling with anxious attachment – a pattern of behaviour that affects millions of people worldwide (but don't worry, you're not alone!). In this post, we'll be exploring what anxious attachment is, why it happens, and how you can start breaking free from its grip. So buckle up, grab a cup of tea, and get ready to discover the secrets of healthy relationships.

The Origins of Anxious Attachment

Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we? Childhood, to be exact. Now, don't worry, I'm not going to make you relive your traumatic playground experiences or anything (unless you want to, in which case,...

Relationships are the cornerstone of our lives, and they play a significant role in our happiness and wellbeing. However, as human beings, we are prone to making mistakes and hurting those we love. If you're reading this, it's probably because you're going through a tough time in one of your relationships. Maybe there was a fight, a misunderstanding, or a major breakdown in communication. When a bond becomes broken, it can leave us feeling lost, alone, and overwhelmed. Whatever the cause, I want you to know that you're not alone. Everyone experiences relationship struggles at some point in their lives. While we can't control how other people feel or the future of our relationships, we can seek to understanding their perspective and start to find a path to move forward. In this blog, I'll share ideas on where to start to repair the bond with those we love. Whether it's a friendship, a family member, or a romantic partner, these tips can help you find a place to start...

Hey if you're reading this you're probably curious about couples counselling - and I don't blame you! Relationships can be wonderful, but they can also be challenging, especially when disagreements and conflicts arise. As someone who's been through the ups and downs of a long term partnership, I know first-hand how hard it can be to navigate those rough patches. I'll be honest with you, my partner and I have been together for 30 years and about 10 years ago it all fell apart and we separated for a few years. Since then we have worked extremely hard to create a strong, supportive and loving relationship. I'm a relationship counsellor and it still happened to me, so I definitely won't be judging anyone. I have a realistic, compassionate approach and know how messy life can get. I'd love to share with you how couples counselling can help you and your partner strengthen your emotional connection, build intimacy with your partner and create patterns of more effective...

Love can be a rollercoaster ride, full of exhilarating highs and heart-wrenching lows. But what happens when you're not sure whether to buckle up for another round or get off the ride altogether? This is the perennial question at the heart of countless relationships: Should I Stay or Should I Go? It's a question that's been asked by everyone from The Clash to Carrie Bradshaw, and it's one that can cause us no small amount of anxiety and uncertainty. But fear not! In this post, we'll explore the ins and outs of this question, helping you navigate the uncertainty of love and relationships with a little more clarity and confidence

At its core, 'Should I Stay or Should I Go?' is a question about uncertainty: uncertainty about the future of a relationship, uncertainty about our own feelings and needs, and uncertainty about what we truly want and value in life. This question can arise for a variety of reasons, such as when we're experiencing doubts or conflicts with our partner, when...

Imagine this: you're on a first date with someone, and things are going pretty well. You're laughing, you're flirting, and you're feeling that spark of attraction. But then, they casually mention that they have a pet carpet snake, and suddenly you're having flashbacks to that time your cousin's carpet snake crawled up your leg when you were six years old. Cue the panic attack.

Sound familiar? Well, it turns out that your childhood experiences might have more of an impact on your adult relationships than you think. Specifically, your attachment style - the way you formed emotional bonds with your primary caregivers as a child - can shape the way you interact with romantic partners later in life. And don't worry, I'm not going to get all Freudian on you. This is science, baby.

What is Attachment Theory anyway?

Ah, Attachment Theory - the study of how your childhood scars can haunt you for the rest of your life. Just kidding...kind of. Attachment theory is actually a psychological...